Birth is an extraordinary journey and no two stories are ever the same. In this series, we’re delving into the personal experiences of mothers as they share the highs, the challenges, and the unexpected turns along the way. Each story offers a glimpse into the beautiful, raw moments that come with bringing a new life into the world. Whether you’re preparing for your own birth or reflecting on your past experiences, I hope these stories provide comfort, inspiration, and maybe even a little laughter.
Hi Annelize – it’s so good to have you here! Would you like to introduce yourself and tell us a little about your family?
I’m Annelize, mum of 2. I’m originally from South Africa but the UK has been my home for 20 years this October and I am a British citizen. I love anything fitness and I own my own gym. I’m in my early 40s and my kids are now 12 and 15.
Oh wow, we’re talking a good while ago now then! Do you remember how you felt when you first found out you were expecting?
Over the moon. Shocked. Surprised.
We had been trying for almost a year. I woke up in the middle of the night with extreme stomach pain and I was rush to hospital; they had to give me morphine for the pain. Long story short, as they went through the checks, they did a pregnancy test and that’s the moment we found out I was pregnant with our first in A & E!
Second time, it happened really quick and I knew before I even tested positive thanks to the morning sickness that kicked in again.
Ah yes, I pretty much knew before I tested too! What were some of the most memorable moments of your pregnancies?
With our first, I had really bad morning sickness all the way through. The smell of coffee, cigarettes or anything bad would trigger me. Someone just needed to mention poo or fart and I would be sick! But I loved being pregnant. Seeing her on the scan the first time, feeling her kick. It was all so magical.
I really did not enjoy my second pregnancy. I suffered even more with morning sickness and unlike the first time where I could try and avoid some things that made me sick, this time round it was just so random and I would be sick out of the blue with no warning. I probably would have been hospitalised if it wasn’t for the fact that I kept having an appetite. But feeling him move for the first time and finding out it was going to be a boy was pretty special. And this time I was sharing it with my daughter, where she could feel her brother kick.
Ahhh yes that must have been a lovely moment for you. So we’ve covered some of the aversions, did you have any specific cravings?
With both pregnancies, I really loved crushed ice. I also craved soil but stuck with the crushed ice.
Ha definitely best to stick to the crushed ice! How did you prepare for your new arrival?
With our first, I read lots of pregnancy and parenting books even before I was pregnant. I also watched lots of empowering birth videos. As my first labour was seven hours and pretty straight forward I wanted a home birth second time round and I wanted my almost-three year old there too. So we watched birth videos together!
Wow! So what was it like from the moment you went into labour to the moment you met your baby?
I was 10 days overdue with our first. I woke up at 5am with some contractions and then a bit later I went to the toilet and had my blood show. They suggested to come in for a check up because of the blood show, so I got ready, had some breakfast and breathed through some contractions. I remember my mum asking how I knew I was in labour because I was so calm and quiet. I said that everything I read said staying calm and breathing is best to keep the pain levels lower.
The midwife said “You do realise you are in active labour…”
We got to hospital where I was monitored and after being there a couple of hours I was told I was heading to delivery suite as I was 7cm dilated. I wanted a water birth so I got into the pool. I tried some gas and air for the pain but really didn’t get on with it. At one point I think the midwife was worried that I was in denial or not realising I was in labour because she said “You do realise you are in active labour and really close to giving birth!”. I think it’s because I was calm and quiet. But it’s just how I dealt with it.
I got out of the pool to go to the toilet and when the midwife checked my progress afterwards, she said I was 10cm dilated and asked if she could break my waters. I agreed and immediately felt like pushing. They asked if I wanted to get back in the pool but I just wanted to push. In hindsight I do wish they tried to convince me to get back in…
I was pushing for some time and the midwife kept saying I needed to push harder but I felt like I was pushing as hard as I could. Then she finally made an appearance and at this point the midwife discovered she was back to back. Holding her for the first time was just the best thing in the entire world!
With our son, I woke up at 2am with an intense contraction. I thought I’d deal with it for a bit on my own but by the second contraction I realised it was happening quickly as it was just so intense. We tried to fill the birthing pool with water but it didn’t go well as the pipe kept folding over, so I got in the shower instead to try and relieve the pain. At 3.10am I called the midwife who thought I was close to giving birth; it would take her 30 minutes to get to me and that I should call an ambulance if baby started arriving before she got there, just to be on the safe side.
The pool still hadn’t filled by this point so, with one hand on the kitchen island and one on the cupboards, I did a massive lion raw and pushed… The kid’s dad looked at me as if to say ‘What are you doing?’ but before he could say anything else I said ‘That wasn’t me – That was my body taking over!’ I waddled to the downstairs toilet and as I looked down I saw something. As strange as it felt, for a split second I thought ‘What the hell is that?’. I guess because it was all happening so quick I just didn’t expect it to be his head! But I quickly realised it was!
The kid’s dad called an ambulance and I remember my daughter poking her head in asking for cereal! I calmly said we will get her some in a bit. One push and the head was fully out and after a second push, his body was out, exactly 1 hour and 35 minutes after waking with that intense contraction. I remember his cord being really long and wrapped around his leg. Within 4 min the paramedic was there, offering me gas and air and I was like nope – currently high on what I’ve just done! They wouldn’t let me get up until the midwife got there. As soon as she arrived we moved into the sitting room onto the sofa bed where my daughter cut the cord. I had a shower whilst they did all the checks and by 5am everyone left and we all went back to sleep.
Oh wow. That sounds really intense! Did you have a birth plan and did your birth look anything like it?
I had a plan for both. With my daughter, I wanted it to be as natural as possible: calm and a water birth. I got most of that but just not the water birth. With my son, I got my home birth but it wasn’t planned as it was unassisted and again I didn’t get my water birth!
Ahhh! It was clearly an emotional time – do you remember feeling any particular emotions when you first held your baby?
For my daughter, words can’t describe it… I was just in awe of her. It was love at first sight and I just couldn’t believe that I had created another human being. With my son, it was just amazing. I was on such a high and just felt so special. I remember watching my daughter cut the cord and feeling so much love for them both in that moment.
Who was your biggest support during pregnancy and childbirth?
With both children, the midwives were fantastic. Having my mum fly over from South Africa and be there a week before my daughter’s birth was amazing too. We went for a walk every night after dinner as it helped with the sickness. But honestly – my biggest support was also me! My determination to be as informed around calm, natural and empowering birth experiences. Staying in the moment and breathing was my biggest support.
Incredible. Did you find you faced any other challenges during labour and delivery?
With my daughter, the only thing I wasn’t prepared for was having to be stitched up after giving birth as I did tear a little bit. I think it didn’t help that a different person came in (a male doctor) to do it. I was trying to explain that I was scared but he just kept saying it won’t hurt. Luckily the midwife noticed and came over and offered me some gas and air; I actually used more than I did during labour!
With my son, apart from the pool that wouldn’t fill and the midwife that couldn’t make it in time, it was the home birth that I wanted. And actually it was pretty special so I wouldn’t change a thing!
Ahh! Do you have any tips for other families going through birth soon?
To breathe and stay calm.
What were some of the first milestones or special moments you experienced with your newborn?
My daughter smiled really early on. That was special. But for me the breastfeeding was also such a great bonding experience. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy and definitely didn’t come naturally. That first latch was something of a shock but after about 6 weeks it was truly amazing. With my son, it was going to bed after giving birth with my two babies. Also watching my daughter being an amazing big sister.
How has becoming a parent changed you, and what do you cherish most about this chapter in your life?
Just how it’s made me want to be the best person possible. I am always growing and always learning and will always be there for them.
I could have written the same thing! Thank you so much for sharing your story Annelize. I really look forward to having you back soon to chat about Studio Fit Gloucester and the support you offer to mums in their health and fitness journey.
If you’re reading this and thinking forwards to your own birth and beyond, I’d love to help you capture your journey, with timeless maternity, newborn and family photography.
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